Nathaniel's Arrival - Part Two

   Even though my labor at the hospital was a shorter amount of time, there was quite a bit that happened. So this post took a bit longer to write out. Some of the details may be unnecessary for you to know, but I wanted to write out as much as I remembered as it was still fresh in my mind for myself.

   My plan was to have a home birth and not need to go to the hospital, unless absolutely necessary, but I am so incredibly grateful for the access we have to medical care and that we had such a positive  birth experience at the hospital. Nathaniel's birth was actually the exact opposite of what I wanted and almost all the things I wanted to avoid were necessary to bring him into the world safely and healthy. I think God greatly humbled me in my skepticism and prejudice towards hospital births. Beforehand I thought I was a pretty neutral person towards how someone chose to birth. I felt that home birth was best for me and our baby, but also the best and healthiest option for any healthy pregnancy. I found out that I was actually quite judgmental in my knowledge and opinion of how someone birthed. Experiencing both my unmedicated labor at home as well as a medicated labor in the hospital and a c-section, I realize that there is value and strength and beauty in any way a child is brought into the world.

   So here is the rest of our birth story.

   Amber and Anthony made the decision to go to the hospital closest to us because of the short distance and the process would most likely get started quicker than at the midwives’ preferred hospital in the city. Mind you I’m still laboring at a 9 and I’m trying my hardest not to push with each contraction, but that takes more strength than getting through a contraction. I cannot get through contractions without being vocal at this point and when we enter the hospital at the main entrance it seems deserted. No one is at the main desk and we see someone mopping floors. Anthony is trying to quiet me because I’m being so loud in this empty building, but I think that helped us get attention. A hospital employee got us a wheelchair and someone took us up to Labor and Delivery on the second floor.

   Since Amber called ahead to let them know we were coming in with my midwife team and that I was already dilated to a 9, it was pretty easy getting admitted. Although we were concerned for a moment because the woman at the desk was not the woman Amber had spoken to on the phone, so this woman did not know anything about us coming in or what was going on. So she didn't understand what we wanted or needed to do, but luckily the woman who spoke with Amber on the phone was walking by and helped explain the situation to the lady at the desk. Again, I'm still trying to get through contractions that are a minute or two long and coming every 60 seconds, needing to be quieter now that I'm on the Labor & Delivery floor where there are other patients.

   Once we were admitted around 5:00 or 5:30pm everything seemed to happen pretty quickly, even though Nathaniel wouldn’t be born until 5 hours later. They began their standard care with an IV, fluids and some pain medication once I was changed and lying down and waiting for the epidural. Amber transferred all of the info that they had been gathering throughout the night, as well as the ultrasounds and info throughout my pregnancy. The anesthesiologist came in around 6pm to give me the epidural. He was very kind, professional and quick, working efficiently between my contractions. He explained to me what he would be doing, the nurse also helped instruct me how to position myself  correctly between contractions. Anthony was the only other person in the room and I leaned against him with a pillow between us so that my back was curved correctly for the procedure. Getting an epidural was one of the things that made me nervous about having a hospital birth, but because I was going through intense contractions and trying not to push through them, I didn’t really have time to get freaked out about it in the moment. The process of administering the epidural and getting everything setup actually went pretty quickly, I think. Again, I had no sense of time anymore so it could have taken a while, but thinking back on it I THINK it went fairly quick. 

   Once I got the epidural it was amazing how it took away the pain of the contractions, but I could still feel some of the pressure of the contractions. But I could talk, laugh, rest. It was such a weird feeling, knowing that I was still in labor, but couldn’t feel the full intensity of it. The nurse then began collecting information from me and the hospital midwife asked questions and did a cervical check to see where I was at and what was going on. She concluded the same thing as our midwives did - that there was just a little lip, but that hopefully the epidural would help my body relax and things could still end in a natural birth. I also learned that the baby was posterior, or face up, so that could have also been a reason as to why things had stopped progressing as quickly at home. I don’t remember if our midwife Amber told me that the baby was posterior at home, but she had her suspicions that he was before we had to go to the hospital. After she did her initial check and I was all hooked up, they let me rest and watched for progression and monitored the baby for the next hour or so. 

   After I was able to get a little rest, the midwife came back and told us that the baby’s heart rate was showing some signs of distress. It’s normal for fetal heart rates to decrease during a contraction and then return to normal after the contraction, but when they start having late decelerations - when the heart rate decreases after a contraction and slowly returns - it means baby is having a hard time recovering from the contraction. That is what began happening with our baby’s heart rate. She said they would continue closely monitoring us, since we were still waiting for the doctor to arrive, but that she wanted to go ahead and measure the strength of my contractions to see if a natural birth would be possible if I were able to dilate fully. After inserting a probe and measuring the contractions for several minutes, it proved that my uterus was pretty fatigued and was not giving efficient, strong contractions on baby. She informed me that since my contractions were weak and in combination with the baby’s heart rate, it was very likely that I would get a c-section when the doctor arrived.

   The next time the hospital midwife checked my cervix she said I was complete and that we could try pushing. So they let me try pushing for about 20 minutes. We later learned from our midwives, Amber and Katie, that during that time they let me push there was about 8 minutes where the baby’s heart rate dropped significantly and was taking quite some time to recover. I do remember that several nurses began entering our room and that the hospital midwife was moving around quickly opening things up and then after talking amongst each other things settled down again. Our midwives told us that those moments took years off of their lives because it was very stressful and scary. They also said that the situation was so significant, that had the doctor been there it would have been an immediate emergency c-section. In the moment, Anthony and I did not fully comprehend what was going on or how serious it was. 

   After looking up information on late decelerations to write about it in this post, I realize that even after talking with our midwives and the doctor I still didn’t fully grasp how serious things were. Our doctor that delivered Nathaniel told us that things were very scary and that we were in a situation in which women & babies used to die during natural childbirth. So we are immensely and incredibly grateful for the team that cared for us and delivered Nathaniel quickly and reacted swiftly to our situation. 

   After the baby’s heart rate bounced back and returned to it’s normal, they had me stop pushing and we waited for the doctor to arrive since she was on her way there. Once our doctor arrived she did a cervical check to see where we were. The doctor let me know that the labor and delivery team had been keeping her updated on the baby’s late decels and that she would most likely be taking me for a c-section with the recent information. This is when our room seemed to begin getting flooded with nurses. Some were checking on fluids, helping hold my legs, or standing in the doorway ready to help if needed. Since I was complete and she could feel the baby’s head, she would let me try pushing. At some point someone put an oxygen mask on me and the doctor coached me through several contractions, while she was also trying to help baby come out. Anthony was by my side during my entire labor and I remember him whispering in my ear telling me I could do it and that I was strong. (Our midwife team was still there, holding my legs and cheering me on as well.) But I could tell by the look on the doctor’s face that my pushing wasn’t being productive and our baby was not budging and things were not looking good for having a vaginal birth. 

   The doctor said that we would be going back for a c-section. We gave everything our best effort, but baby was starting to show signs of distress again and we needed to get him out. She told me and Anthony what would be happening as the nurses around us started buzzing around, getting things ready to move me to the operating room. The plan was that they would take me back to the OR and get everything ready before Anthony could join us for surgery. I remember during the prep for transitioning me, one of the nurses was putting on my hospital cap and she said, “Better get your party hat on!” She ended up being one of the nursery nurses that would later watch over our Nathaniel that night.

   I want to interrupt to say that I have never had to be or stay in a hospital. I have never had any surgery or medical emergencies. I had x-rays on multiple occasions throughout my childhood thinking I had broken something when it turned out I only had sprained something. I had my wisdom teeth removed a few years ago, which was my first time having an IV or getting anesthesia. So this entire experience at the hospital was so foreign and fascinating and a little overwhelming to me. One reason why I didn't want a hospital birth. I had no expectations going into surgery, though. I just knew we had tried everything else we could and that this was the way our baby would be born. There was no decision to be made, it just was.

   So they took me into OR and began prepping me for surgery. The doctor came in and began going through her protocol. Once she finished that she began touching my abdomen with a tool to check and make sure the anesthesia was working. After making sure I was numb they could bring Anthony in before she began. It turned out though that I could feel the dullness and sharpness of the tool she had in her hand. She looked at the anesthesiologist for his suggestion, since he already administered the anesthesia. He let her know that he had already given me as much as he could and that we would either need to do a spinal or give me general anesthesia to go to sleep. My doctor looked at me and asked what I’d like and I said put me under. So he quickly got what he needed and said “You’ll feel a little burning sensation,” and I closed my eyes and didn’t wake up until 2 hours later when I was back in my room.

   I want to keep the circumstances of the actual delivery fairly vague here. He was delivered within 2 minutes of beginning the surgery, but there were some complications that were quite scary for everyone in the operating room right after. The whole team did an absolutely wonderful job making sure that both baby and I were taken care of quickly. I thank God that we are both safe, healthy and alive today. 

   I woke up back in the original room we were in. I remember seeing a couple of nurses walking around the room and once I realized where I was, I asked if it was a boy or girl. Since we didn’t find out the gender during pregnancy, Anthony would have been the one to announce the gender. Since they had to give me general anesthesia and knock me out, Anthony wasn’t able to be in the operating room. The nurse told me I had a baby boy! I remember smiling at the ceiling and thinking about how I couldn't believe I was right about it being a boy during the whole pregnancy! A few minutes later Anthony came in to accompany me to meet our baby in the nursery, where he had been since Nathaniel was delivered, and I asked him if it was a boy or girl. I wanted him to have the opportunity to tell me, too! He told me it was a baby boy with the biggest grin on his face. I grinned back and said, “I know, I asked one of the nurses and she told me.” The nurse that was taking me to meet Nathaniel said, “Oh I wasn’t supposed to tell you!? Dad was supposed to let you know, I’m sorry!” But we were just so happy to have our baby on the outside we didn't care!

   Since I had a c-section I remained in my hospital bed and they wheeled me over to the nursery so I could meet my son. I was so excited and could not believe that he was finally here! Anthony let me know that our midwives had another birth call and had to leave shortly after they took me back for surgery. When we arrived to the nursery, there were two babies being monitored, one was sleeping in a bassinet and the other was being checked on by a nurse. There was another nurse in the room inputting data on the computer. They wheeled me in and the nurse checking on the baby said, “Meet your baby boy!” I immediately threw my hands to my face in awe and excitement! He was hooked up to wires monitoring him and it looked a little scary, but that was my baby boy! That was Nathaniel, my son that was in my tummy just hours earlier. That was my baby that I labored for and was so strong for. That was my baby I prayed for. That was my son.

   The nurses told me how well he was doing since he’d been in the nursery. That all his levels were perfect and he’s been so hungry since he’s been awake. They told us how they only had to keep him overnight as a precaution, but everything seemed perfect. I got to hold him and nurse him for the very first time there. He nursed for over an hour and we just stared at him and talked with the nurse there - she was so sweet and was the nurse that had given me my “party hat” earlier.

   We spent the next few days recovering and getting to know our newborn at the hospital. We had such a terrific experience during our stay. Everyone was so kind, generous and helpful. We were delivered all our meals daily, a nurse helped me to, on and from the toilet, they watched Nathaniel in the nursery when we needed to catch an hour or two of sleep, and we had unlimited access to snacks 24/7 - it was all just so helpful. The nurses also gave me so much confidence in being a brand new mom with this tiny little baby. 

   Now he’s over two months old! So that’s the story about how we met our son and how all the planning and expectations I had for a home birth were flipped to the complete opposite of the spectrum. And honestly, before going into labor, I wanted to do everything to avoid a hospital birth because it wasn’t what I wanted for me or our baby. God humbled me and even though I gave natural labor and birth the best chance I could, I knew that there was something bigger at play. And maybe I didn’t know that when we had to transfer, but I did want what was best for me and baby and it led us to something that was out of my control. (Honestly the entire pregnancy process is out of our control.)

   Anthony and I have talked a lot about how God had a purpose for the birth to go completely opposite as to what I wanted for myself. That God knew all along how Nathaniel would be born. I think He showed me that in my heart I felt that hospital births were “less than” birthing at home naturally. I was able to experience natural labor, medicated labor, and a c-section. They each have their benefits and can be done in healthy, safe environments. I have a greater appreciation and understanding of all ways to birth. Do I still feel that a natural, home birth is the best for me and my future babies? Yes, but I am not as strongly opposed to hospital births or c-sections, especially when necessary. I have been working on another post about how I’ve felt and coped with having a completely different birth than what I had planned for and will share those feelings as well.

   Thank you all so much for being so supportive during our entire journey. Thank you for the years of prayers for us to conceive, the support through our pregnancy, the conversations and encouragement, and the delicious meals that have been delivered since we’ve brought Nathaniel home. If you guys have any questions or post requests about our pregnancy, delivery, or why we wanted a homebirth please let me know in the comments!