A week ago today, March 23, I was expecting another cycle to start. It felt like a normal day, no extra stress or anxiety, just waiting. I'm familiar with the fact that my cycle has not been "normal" or predictable for literal YEARS. So there are some days that I don't get too stressed about it and can be patient. And there are some days that I break down because my period is a day late, but I still get a negative pregnancy test and I get worried that all my progress is regressing.
So Saturday came and went without a sign of my cycle. We were busy cleaning and getting organized around the house because it was such a lovely day! We had been needing to clean out our garage since the day we moved in, practically. Lol. Being busy always helps keep my mind off the more stressful things in life. But it was no big deal that Saturday went without me starting, it wasn't the first time my period was later than normal. I had the thought that I would just take a pregnancy test the next morning, on Sunday, so that I would know if I'm waiting on a period or not. I was also taking a pregnancy test if my period was not "on time" because of the supplement regimen my doctor had me on to help regulate the proper hormones during specific times of my menstruation cycle.
Side note, ladies, I find it incredibly useful and empowering to learn about your body and menstruation cycle. And I don't mean the basic period and ovulation of your cycle. Really learn about the hormones that are creating these patterns in our bodies, telling our ovaries to mature a follicle to later be release as an egg, to prepare a womb for creating life and then shedding that if a life is not created. It's such a miraculous and wonderful thing that God created our bodies to do and if ONE THING in the process is off, then none of it can work properly. It has been a beautiful journey learning about what my body was or wasn't doing, but also that my husband was with me and learning about my body at the same time.
Side note, ladies, I find it incredibly useful and empowering to learn about your body and menstruation cycle. And I don't mean the basic period and ovulation of your cycle. Really learn about the hormones that are creating these patterns in our bodies, telling our ovaries to mature a follicle to later be release as an egg, to prepare a womb for creating life and then shedding that if a life is not created. It's such a miraculous and wonderful thing that God created our bodies to do and if ONE THING in the process is off, then none of it can work properly. It has been a beautiful journey learning about what my body was or wasn't doing, but also that my husband was with me and learning about my body at the same time.
I was anxious for Sunday morning to come. As I was always anxious when it was that time of the month to take a test so I could continue my supplement regimen for balancing my hormones. I figured I would wait until Anthony got out of bed and went to the kitchen to eat breakfast. He wouldn't expect me to be up as early as he was and I didn't want to worry him that I was taking another test and I might be sad about another negative. As soon as I heard him in the kitchen, I threw back the covers and went into our bathroom. I actually really had to pee, so I was doing a little dance as I was getting the test open and such. I was expecting a negative, as usual. I mean, there was no apparent reason for me to think otherwise because EVERY other time it's been negative. Why would this time be any different? So I just set it down, put a timer on my phone, and walked away. I'm pretty sure this was the first time I ever have and decided that I just wouldn't look at it until the timer was up. Even though I knew it was going to be a negative, it was the longest 3 minutes of my life. I don't think you can ever help but to be a little hopeful when trying to conceive. That there would be two lines instead of just one.
I picked up the little pink test off the side of the tub and looked at it. Then I looked at it harder, confused. I walked to our sink and I looked at myself in the mirror, mouth wide open. There were two lines on this test. TWO LINES. I looked back at the test. It wasn't a faint line - maybe it was there, maybe it wasn't - I could see it clear as day. It was obvious. I gasped, let out a nervous laugh, teared up, covered my mouth and immediately opened our bedroom door to go tell Anthony. It was a positive test. I was pregnant. Oh my gosh, I'm pregnant. We were finally pregnant!
I always wanted to be able to do a fun surprise reveal for our family members, Anthony included. But the longer it took us to get pregnant and the more that I involved friends and family, the less I would be able to surprise people. So most of my hope to surprise even Anthony just disappeared. Which I was ok with because I knew he would be excited no matter how I told him. I thought about running down the hall into the kitchen, but I figured that would probably spook him more since he didn't even know I was awake yet.
I padded down the hallway with this positive pregnancy test in one hand and my other hand covering my wide open mouth, giggling in disbelief and on the edge of tears. I walk into the kitchen and Anthony turns around from the sink, surprised to see me awake and a little startled by the look on my face. I looked down at the test and held it out for him to see. He wasn't really sure what was going on at first, but once he took his eyes from my shocked expression to the pink test in my hand he looked back at me and said, "Does that mean what I think it means?" I nodded my head yes and we hugged and laughed and I cried. I cannot explain how we both felt in that moment. The surprise, the shock, the joy. "We're finally pregnant." I told him through my laughter and tears. "Thank you, God." There has never been a moment that I've experienced filled with such pure joy.
So that was my early birthday surprise! Two weeks before my 27th birthday I learned that we were FINALLY pregnant with our first child. After years of trying, supplements, proper diet and nutrition, PRAYERS and tears, we finally conceived. God has blessed us and it has been such a hard, long road. And although this pregnancy may be difficult and possibly higher risk, we are grateful for this little bean that has made us a mom and a dad and has brought us so much joy already. We want to enjoy all of our time and changes we will have with this sweet little baby. Anthony's main goal is to help me focus on the good and not worry about the "what ifs." Because the truth is, is that God created this life in me for us to love on and enjoy and we have been too patient for this moment not to enjoy it.
I had truly began to think that this day may never come, but praise God that it has. We will be welcoming Baby Cowan in November 2019! If you have followed us on this journey, prayed for us, asked us how we were doing, gave us resources, or shared our story with others I would really love to hear from you. Even if we aren't close friends, I would really enjoy it if you would write about what you prayed for, what God had taught you through us, or just an encouraging note. If you would like to mail me, or Baby Cowan (!), a letter you can email me at darciann.blog@gmail.com
I had truly began to think that this day may never come, but praise God that it has. We will be welcoming Baby Cowan in November 2019! If you have followed us on this journey, prayed for us, asked us how we were doing, gave us resources, or shared our story with others I would really love to hear from you. Even if we aren't close friends, I would really enjoy it if you would write about what you prayed for, what God had taught you through us, or just an encouraging note. If you would like to mail me, or Baby Cowan (!), a letter you can email me at darciann.blog@gmail.com
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