Motherhood is different when you finally experience it. I knew it would be difficult and that we'd be running on little sleep, but you can't truly understand it until you're in it. I knew I would be writing and documenting our birth story, not just to share with others but to record it for myself as well. Since our experience did not quite go as planned I definitely knew I had to get it out because God humbled me through it and made me put my trust in His plan even more. This is the detailed version of our birth experience, part one. We were prepared for a home birth, but that is not exactly what happened. There was so much that happened in each stage that I want to capture it all without it being overwhelming in one post. So there will be a second post to follow soon that will share the second half of our birth story.
I figured that my water breaking would take me by surprise, but what I didn’t expect was to be sitting on the toilet when it happened. Talk about being in the right place at the right time. It was 5:15 on Thanksgiving morning that my water broke. Being pregnant kind of imposes on your bladder already, so my normal trip to the bathroom turned into baby Cowan being ready to make his or her’s arrival soon. Knowing that it could be several hours until I was actually in active labor and that there was no need to notify the midwives so early in the morning, Anthony and I got back in bed and I tried to get a few more hours of sleep. Before getting back in bed though, Anthony tossed confetti on me to celebrate saying, “Yay! Your water broke!” Going back to sleep was impossible for me though as I could feel contractions beginning and of course the excitement of getting to meet our baby soon.
We let the midwife team know at about 7am, that my water had broke and that contractions had started. They told me to keep an eye on them and continue on with my day and keep them updated on how things progressed. We went over to Anthony's parents' house for breakfast at around 8am and we let his family know that my water broke earlier that morning and that we would be meeting our baby soon! The news was of course greeted with shock and excitement, especially from the grandparents to be. So we talked about all the excitement, contractions and plans for the labor over pancakes. We went back home after we were done there so I could get some more rest and to make sure everything was getting prepared for the midwives and our birth at home.
When we got home, Anthony went into full on nesting mode. He vacuumed the whole house, mopped the floors, cleaned both toilets, picked up the kitchen and living room, moved the couches out of the way for our birthing tub, prepped the bed, AND cooked the mac n cheese for our Thanksgiving dinner back at mom and dad’s that afternoon at 3:00pm. While he did all that I laid down and watched YouTube videos. I also packed a small suitcase in the event that we needed to go to the hospital.
We went and had Thanksgiving dinner around 3:00pm that afternoon. We were probably there for 2 hours or so until I needed to go home to get more comfortable through contractions. During dinner I was having to focus and breathe through each contraction, and they were about at the point to tell the midwives to come. So we went home and I got in a our bathtub and labored in the warm bath as my contractions began getting stronger. It was about 6:30pm when I felt like I needed the midwives to head our way, since they would have an hour drive to us. My contractions were around a minute long and about 4 to 3 minutes apart. So Anthony called and let them know how my contractions were and that it was taking more concentration to breath through them, but I could still go back to conversation after each one. They asked if I would feel better if they began heading on their way and I said yes, because although I knew it could be several hours until I was in active labor I also knew that they had an hour drive to get to us.
Amber and Gloria arrived at our house at about 7:30pm. Anthony and I were in the living room where I was laboring on the exercise ball and Anthony was getting the birthing tub ready. It was so exciting to see them walk into our house. It made it all that much more real. Not that the contractions didn’t seem real, because they definitely were. But finally having them in my home meant that they were there to help deliver our child. They began setting up their things to prep for the birth and they checked on baby’s heart rate as well as my own. After that it was just waiting for things to progress and baby’s arrival, but we had several sleepless hours ahead of us before getting to meet our Nathaniel.
Those next 24 hours or so are now such a blur. I remember that Anthony was with me at all times everywhere I went and was a huge help getting me to focus and breathe through contractions. He also used my mantras and encouraged me through the entire process. We would lock eyes or he’d have me breathe with him or I would have him massage my forearms to interfere with the pain signals through contractions. I don’t know if it helped with the pain directly, but it did give me a distraction during each one. He would also get my water and get me to eat a little honey when I could.
I labored in the birthing tub, our bed, on the toilet. They moved me several times to help get in different positions and to also try and get some rest. I remember laying in bed next to Anthony and I would wake up when a contraction was coming and I would have to wake him up to help me get through it. He also said that between each contraction I would doze off for a little bit, but that he thought I would stop breathing. So basically neither one of us got much rest overnight.
Through the night, our midwives took shifts sleeping and checking on baby and me, helping me through contractions and giving me assistance to and from places. At one point Amber was in our bed laying down with us helping me through contractions by applying pressure to my back. They seriously took such great care of me and made us feel comfortable and confident in our birth throughout the entire process. Katie arrived some time Friday morning and they checked to see how dilated I was. By at least 10am Friday I was dilated to a 9 and they could feel baby's head and that there was lots of hair. I would continue to labor at a 9 until about 4:30pm with no additional progress, which wasn’t for lack of trying multiple things to get that last part of my cervix out if the way. I didn’t realize that my team was timing contractions during this part of my labor, but they were three minutes long with one minute between each one. Which is normal at that stage, but not to labor there for several hours. While I was laboring in the birthing tub, Anthony would literally be holding me up as I leaned on the side and I would fall asleep between contractions. Me and my body were so tired.
It’s wild how quickly I’ve forgotten the actual pain of laboring. Like, I can remember that it hurt and I remember screaming through those contractions and pushing, but I can't remember the actual sensation and pain of it all. What I remember hurting the worst was getting my cervix checked a total of four times while going through contractions. After laboring in several positions to get baby to move without any progress, the midwives decided that it was time to go to the hospital. My body was getting tired and fatigued, going to the hospital for an epidural could help the last bit of my cervix move and it would give me some time to rest and I could still deliver the baby naturally. I remember laying on the bed, laboring loudly, while Anthony and Amber discussed which hospital would be best to transition to. I didn’t care where we went at that point, but I definitely didn’t want to ride in a car for an hour, so I’m very grateful that we live less than 5 minutes from a hospital. I’m also grateful that I could trust them to make a decision without much input from me because I couldn’t really talk much between contractions.
Anthony helped me get clothes on to go to the hospital while Amber called to let them know our situation and that we were coming in. She would be going with us to the hospital and help be an advocate for us and help answer any questions or concerns we may have about making decisions or figuring out what our options were. After I was clothed and ready to go, Anthony gathered all of our things - including the quickly packed suitcase I packed the day before - and I stood laboring near the door until we were ready to go.
At this point I was somewhat sad knowing I wouldn't be giving birth at home as I had planned and eagerly looked forward to. I also knew that I was tired and my body was tired and I needed to rest and get help to deliver our baby since I had already worked so hard at home.
This is where I'll leave off for now and we'll pick up the rest of the birth story at the hospital. Trust me, that's a whole other post worth of story, too. Thank you so much for reading if you've made it this far! I hope to post the second half of our birth story within the next few days so keep an eye out for that! Let me know if you've ever planned a homebirth that went a little differently than expected or if you were able to birth in the comfort of your home!
No comments
Say hello.